From Survivor to Storyteller: Gabi Garland on Healing & Resilient Motherhood
In this episode of Mom to MORE®, host Sharon Macey talks with Gabi Garland, founder of Resilient Voice Media and host of the Resilient Heart Podcast. A domestic violence survivor turned advocate, Gabi shares how she transformed her story into a mission of healing, empowerment, and resilience.
From single motherhood to entrepreneurship, Gabi’s journey shows how resilience can reshape both family and business. Sharon and Gabi explore trauma recovery, the courage to be honest with children, and the importance of building a life rooted in legacy.
Tune in for a powerful motherhood podcast about survival, healing, and resilience. Gabi reminds us that our stories can be lifelines for others, and that motherhood teaches us to advocate for our kids and for ourselves.
[00:00] Introduction
[03:24] Escaping an abusive relationship while pregnant
[05:43] Coping mechanisms and first steps into therapy and healing
[08:04] How practices like hypnosis, Reiki, and EMDR supported evolution
[10:41] Parenting through survival and honesty with a child
[15:25] The power of sharing stories
[18:45] Balancing motherhood with entrepreneurship
[21:41] Resilient Heart retreats and their focus on transformation
[23:42] First steps in reclaiming agency and the role of gratitude in daily life
Meet my guest Gabi Garland:
Website: resilientvoicemedia.com
Instagram: @gabi.garland (she’s big on DM’s!)
Looking for More? Join the Mom To MORE® Community and grab your freebie: 6 Ways To Reinvent Yourself Beyond Motherhood at momtomore.com
Follow @momtomore on Instagram, Facebook and now on Pinterest. @Sharon Macey on LinkedIn.
Keep an eye out for episode #53 of the Mom to MORE® podcast, a special solo reflection from host Sharon Macey, sharing inspiration to kick off the new year. Coming soon - you won’t want to miss it ♥
-
Sharon (01:28)
Welcome to a new episode of Mom to More. My guest today has an incredible story, one of raw truth, resilience, and reclaiming her power. Gabi Garland is the founder of Resilient Voice Media and the host of the Resilient Heart Podcast. She is certified in NLP, which is neuro-linguistic programming therapy, trauma hypnosis, and Reiki, and has evolved from survivor to advocate. She owns Resilient Heart Agency,
which focuses on transformational healing work and hosts retreats for women in need of such healing. Gabi believes we should all aim to build our lives and businesses on a solid foundation. And I second that. A mission that runs deeply for her as a domestic violence survivor who is now happily married to the love of her life. That's so lovely. The focus of her business is to help the underdog amplify those powerful voices who still need to be discovered and provide an opportunity to take their small reach
and make a big impact in the world. Yep, this woman is a warrior. And no surprise here, Gabi was also a stay at home mom. Well, welcome Gabi. I'm thrilled to have this conversation.
Gabi (02:39)
Well, thank you so much for having me. It was great to meet you at the event in Orlando, and so I'm happy that we're doing this.
Sharon (02:45)
Yeah, we have to give a shout out to mom 2.0, which is where we met.
So I like to start all my interviews with what I call my essential mom question. And that is how many kids you have and where are you raising them?
Gabi (02:56)
Okay, so I have two. I have a daughter who will be 25 next month and she lives back home in New Mexico where I'm from. And then my husband and I got married in 2017 and we have a little boy who we call Squish and he is six years old as of March. So, yeah.
Sharon (03:14)
So you have like two generations of children.
Gabi (03:16)
yeah, I'm giving life advice and changing diapers in the same day. So it's different. different.
Sharon (03:23)
All in a day for a mom, right? So Gabi, you shared when we first spoke that you were a single mom, and would you share with our listeners how they came about and how that ultimately affected your life trajectory?
Gabi (03:24)
Right now.
Yeah, so I grew up in the church for the most part with my family. My dad was Catholic. My mom went to a Methodist church. so definitely a very, I would say like almost like religious background. I ended up meeting my daughter's father when I was just right out of high school. I was 18 years old. We met online in a chat room on AOL when I was working there.
The thing that I didn't know then is I was running from some pieces in my life, in my personal life, and he was what I thought was an escape from my current reality. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a situation where very shortly after meeting him, he was abusive. I got pregnant within about a year and a half of dating him and ended up leaving him while nine plus plus months pregnant.
had my daughter within a couple of days from actually leaving him in Florida and had her back home in New Mexico. And so I carried a lot of guilt, shame and regret for those for that interaction for that relationship and for the type of person that he was. And it probably took me until 35 ish. So 10 years after he passed away to
let go of a lot of the shame that I had for that relationship and what the impact that it had on my belief system and my worthiness and my value and all those things.
Sharon (05:05)
Right.
and obviously you said it was an abusive relationship as well. So, the fact that you had the strength to realize, I can't do this. This is not good for my child. And a lot of women have trouble doing that. So I applaud you for that very, very difficult step. so in reading some of the things about you, it sounds like you have experienced post-traumatic
growth after you've been through the PTSD. So where did you find the inner strength to make that choice? Because that is not an easy choice to make.
Gabi (05:43)
No, there was two different phases. I feel like the first one was shortly after he passed away and I didn't really have anybody in my environment or in my, in my world that recommended I go to therapy. There was no, yeah, you've literally spent the last however many years fighting for your actual life and nobody recommended therapy for me. I, shortly after he passed away, I was out.
Drinking became the coping mechanism to numb the pain of what I had gone through. Obviously, clearly not a healthy coping mechanism. But shortly after he passed away, I ended up going to a bunch of bars one night and I was just getting in fights. I had gotten in a handful of fights within just a matter of days. They were all fights I started. I definitely probably should have gone to jail for them back then. I was assaulting people and that sounds horrible, but it's the reality of the situation. And I think
when you go through the type of environment that I was living in, fighting every day becomes the norm for you. And so it wasn't a deviation, but it was obviously not healthy for me. And so my first step was to go to anger management, to sit down with somebody and try to figure out why I was the way that I was, why I was showing up in this way. I didn't even really broach the looking into the alcohol portion of it.
But that was kind of my first introduction to therapy. And I found oddly enough, a Brene Brown book who we got to see when we were at mom2.0. And really that was the first kind of look at what personal development meant, what that section in the Barnes and Noble bookstore is and what it was for. And so I just started to kind of dip my toes into healing. And then in 2016 or 2014, I met my husband 2016, I moved to the East Coast.
I didn't know anybody. And so it was a really beautiful space to not feel like having to perform in environments where people knew me. When I was really deeply in healing, I went into hypnosis, Reiki and NLP, and then some really deep EMDR and therapy. And that was when the shift really, I feel like who I was meant to be. So I started to see more glimpses of who that was. And then it's just been almost nine years since then.
Sharon (08:01)
This
has been more of an evolution for you versus that aha moment.
Gabi (08:04)
Yeah, no, it was really an evolution. I think
sometimes we can't heal in our current environment because we're worried about what people think or we can't tell our mom or aunties or our grandma that we're doing healing because maybe it's a taboo subject. And I know within the Latino community, isn't something everybody's like, just go to church, just go to confession, just pray about it and give it to God. And I know that there's value in that, but I also know the value in really deep healing. so
Getting to do that really deep, heavy work aside from my growing ⁓ environment I grew up in was really helpful for me because I didn't have to do anything other than be in a safe space with my husband and figure out all of the things.
Sharon (08:45)
I mean, I would think that ultimately we are our own saviors.
Gabi (08:49)
do, and I think so often people don't do this work because they're looking for an exterior or something. And yes, it's great to have therapy or a coach or somebody that you can lean on and with on this work, but it really is ultimately a decision for you to decide, I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to feel like this. I don't want this to be my behaviors and to make the steps and the investments to figure out your stuff that you don't move in the world in a way that's just not becoming of who you want to be.
Sharon (09:17)
Right. And so how did all this affect your daughter? Because you had your daughter and how were you parenting your daughter?
Gabi (09:23)
Well, when I left him, I would love to say that I left him and I never looked back when I was pregnant. That's much like many domestic violence survivors. That's a very typical scenario. I left him the night before I left him. He basically threatened to kill me.
I won't get into the whole story, but I got really lucky that we lived that night. And so my dad actually flew from my brother's college graduation to Florida to pick me up.
And I put everything in garbage bags in the morning after he left for work, pretended like everything was fine, sent him on his way, gave him a kiss. And when my dad got there, he was just loading bags into the back of this Montero store he rented. And we drove home to New Mexico for me to help my daughter. Yeah, it was quite a ride for sure.
Sharon (10:12)
Crazy. But you have the wherewithal and the wisdom to say, okay, this isn't right and this is dangerous and I can't, I can't live like this. I'm so glad you found your way out of that.
in thinking about this, Gabi, you were navigating so much behind the scenes and yet still showing up as a mom throughout all of it. Right. So looking back, what are some of the mom skills that helped shape the work that you're doing now with your podcast, your company and your healing work?
Gabi (10:41)
I think of the vulnerability side of things. I did a lot wrong on the mom end of things and there was a lot of apologies, a lot of, please tell me what other ways that I've hurt you. Because I think when we are in survival or when we are coming out of domestic violence or any type of abuse, we are not our best selves. Our nervous systems are dysregulated. We are struggling. There's just a lot of highs and a lot of lows and I had nobody to help me through those years. And so really that
looked like apologies and an honesty
he that he passed away when she was four years old and so I don't think in my mind I thought she remembered much about him because she was so little and it wasn't until probably about a year before he passed away where I was actually dating somebody else and he was joking with me and he was like chasing me around the kitchen table and she ran up in between us and she just kind of did this like I call it the Wonder Woman pose with their hands on her hips and she's like.
do talk to my mom like she was really like she thought he was gonna hurt me and in my mind I thought I had spared her from seeing or experiencing any of the abuse that I went through and I realized in that moment oh she's definitely seen things and
it didn't resonate enough for me to change the way I spoke about him because for several years I made it sound like her dad was such a great guy and he was so funny and and there was parts of him that were I mean you don't fall in love with
somebody who is horrible all the time. He was charismatic, funny and intelligent, but he was also very troubled and very sick. I wasn't honest with her about who he was for longer than I should have been
I was almost like a protection of that memory of him because I knew she deserved somebody that was better than he was. When we made the shift to have the honesty behind who he actually was.
It was a very tough conversation or conversations, but it was essential because they see and I for a mom that's ever walked through this they see they absorb and they understand way more than we ever give them credit for no matter the age and It is an imprint on who they are and what they believe based upon what they're seeing and if you're lying to them about it You are doing them no service and I was a lesson that I had to learn That was not very fun to learn nor was it to apologize and make amends for
Sharon (12:55)
Right. But you have the ability to apologize and to make it right. And what's amazing about kids is even though you think, like you just said, that they are observing nothing, they know nothing, they are so perceptive and they hear things. I think kids are really good at like reading body language. I mean, they know when mom or dad aren't right.
they can sense the friction in the air.
but the fact that yes, you had those hard conversations.
And I'm sure you have a very different relationship with your daughter now because of those hard moments you had to push through.
Gabi (13:25)
Yeah, definitely. And I think I held it together in some ways better than I thought I did. Because I don't think at different points we've talked like she didn't know one how broke I was at different points. You know, he didn't leave anything for us. And so
we struggled for many, many years. And she didn't realize until much later just how badly we were struggling. And I think a lot of us as moms
single moms are coming out of that type of situation. That's part of your story that that really does happen a lot more than it doesn't.
Sharon (13:55)
Thank you for sharing that. I really appreciate that. Hey, Gabi, we're going to take a quick break. And when we return, we are going to talk about the power of sharing stories and helping others heal and what you're doing now.
So Gabi, you have described your reinvention as something born out of necessity. Can you walk us through the moment you realized your story and your voice had power beyond survival mode?
Gabi (15:25)
I think it was around the time. So I had a friend that wanted to do a podcast back in 2019. We had just had our son and he was born with a heart condition and it was just not something that I really had the space or the capacity to do. We were impatient quite a bit with surgeries or different illnesses. And so it just wasn't something that I felt like made any sense. then
We got him through his second surgery and in January of 2020, I started really telling my husband, was like, I think that I want to do a podcast and I wasn't an avid podcast listener. And I think sometimes we get these drop-ins of these like, maybe you should do this or this path that you want to go on. And it doesn't really make sense. And sometimes I think we lean away from those or we don't step into that. And I think those are often the past that are the most powerful for us. And this was that for me.
I ended up hiring a company much like what I own now to edit and upload my podcast. didn't do any marketing or any of the other pieces that we do with us, but I knew that wasn't something that I wanted to mess with. I tried it for about five or six months trying to get it right. And I was like, I'm going to give this. Exactly. I'm like, I'm going to stay in my lane and I'm going to let people stay in their lane and work through it. And so in August of 2020, resilient heart podcast came out and it was where I had.
Sharon (16:34)
you know and you know you don't know.
Gabi (16:48)
enough of a thought that I couldn't have gone through all of the things that I had been through at that point to not have some sort of lesson that other women could learn from it. And so one, was built from a world of isolation because I was home for probably about the better part of two and a half, three years with him post pandemic and then with his surgeries. And it built community that I never knew I would want or need. And, and then it built a business.
pretty quickly, which was pretty wild.
Sharon (17:21)
I love that. And you realize that all of our stories, even though we may not think that they're,
special in any way, shape or form, it's always news to somebody else. So the same with you, the same with me. So I understand where you're coming from and the necessity to share who you are and what your unique journey is, because everybody has a story.
Gabi (17:44)
there's something I always I always say this to clients and I just kind of say it in general. There is there is something about your particular story that is that really is the key to somebody else's survival. That is they that something they can relate to something that they can go, my gosh, me too. I didn't know that was something anybody else ever dealt with. And I feel like when we're able to own those really messy seasons, those really tough stories and the lessons on the other side of it, somebody else needs that lesson. And if you don't share it, then it never happens for them. And I always think that's kind of
a disservice to what you've learned to not be able to share and give that back to other people and to help them walk that path.
Sharon (18:20)
So remember that moms, everything you do, you have such a unique story that should be told. So whether it's being on a podcast or blogging or speaking about it,
all of us have such unique stories that are valid and real and that other people will find a value.
Gabi (18:38)
Yeah, absolutely.
Sharon (18:39)
So you did the stay at home mom thing with your daughter. Now you've got the business. Now you have a son. How do you manage your day?
Gabi (18:45)
I've had multiple coaches over the years push me to grow faster. And my biggest thing because it was some of the lessons that I learned in the survival years with my daughter is I did miss more than I would have liked to take care of us financially. And I'm really blessed to have a really incredible husband that is that that safe space for us and does take care of us. But my business is thriving and growing and in a way that feels good for me. It doesn't feel
It's still, you know, we're right now we're growing at a pace that I don't think I ever thought we'd get to where it's just like, my gosh, it's literally nonstop. But I do have like my business email doesn't go on my cell phone. It only is on my laptop. So I intentionally created space so that I can do my business, but I can also disconnect like Fridays are squished day. And it's literally, I don't work. He doesn't go to school and we just do fun stuff all day. Go to the park, go to the movies, go to lunch, go to the mall, go to the zoo, whatever.
there will be times and there's still times now where it's all work and no fun. And there'll be times where you need to lean into mom life and make that the top priority. And maybe your business is a little bit more quiet for a season, for a moment. That's okay. And I think a lot of moms need to hear that where, you know, we get this hustle culture
Sharon (20:00)
And that's okay.
Gabi (20:05)
and Boss Babe and Team No Sleep and all that. And I was in network marketing before I launched my company. And that was some of the monikers that I kind of were my guiding beacons of light. And so much of it was really toxic and really not. you're like. Yeah, like that was not good. That wasn't how that should have gone down. so getting to build a business around my family at this point is everything for me.
Sharon (20:19)
What am I thinking?
I love that. That's and that's so true. Okay, so you're a mom, you're a media founder and healing facilitator. Talk to us about how motherhood impacted the way you reclaimed your voice and how does it continue to influence the stories that you choose to amplify through resilient voice media?
Gabi (20:48)
So the first part of that, think I very much lost my voice in the context of the relationship that I had with my ex, my daughter's father. If I had a voice, it was just rage. It was anger. was unhappiness. It was just a lot of trauma. Once I started to do more of the healing, claiming my voice was honestly an advocacy of him. And so when you have to learn how to advocate and be
the voice of a little person that can't speak and even now he's autistic and so there isn't a lot of words that come for him. There's no full conversations or that kind of thing. And so once I knew that I had to advocate for him, it really was underlying teaching me how to advocate and speak for myself. And it was a lesson that I didn't think would come in the way that it came, which usually is how lessons happen.
Sharon (21:38)
So tell us about your resilient heart healing retreats
Gabi (21:41)
Yeah.
I always would see these really beautiful retreats. And I hosted a couple of smaller ones when I was in network marketing for my team. And what I kept finding with women that I did coaching with was
they really didn't make any time or capacity for anything that was just for them. was like going to get a pedicure was like, I am doing this is hashtag. Like that's just maintenance.
Sharon (22:03)
You're such a big deal, right?
Gabi (22:06)
it's just, stuff that you should do for yourself anyway. And so
I'm much more of an introvert than people probably realize. And so my retreats are small specifically for the reason of I want people to have their own space.
I don't like the ones where you have 45 women crammed in a beautiful house. And then it just feels like chaos and noise. And I already have chaos and noise in my home. So I don't want to create that. I peace. I need quiet. So the first retreat that we did, that I did was in San Diego last year. And it was the most incredible time. The girls were sort of saying it was like a girls trip with healing and then vacation. It was just.
I feel like that big exhale breath for all of the ladies. And then the next one will be in Nashville, San Diego will be again next year. But the national retreat is called Resilient Phoenix. And really that one is for women that are stepping out of old versions of themselves. So maybe they're restarting life. Maybe they're moving on from a marriage or a relationship or a job they've had for a significant amount of time.
The premise of that one is really kind of burning to the ground who you used to be so that you can step into who this next phase and this next piece of who you are is becoming. And so that's the one in Nashville in the fall.
Sharon (23:25)
Nice. All right.
because you've been through this and you're very open about it, for listeners who may be quietly navigating trauma, fear, or uncertainty in a relationship, what is the first small step toward healing or reclaiming agency that you would encourage them to take today?
Gabi (23:42)
I think the very first part before you do anything or say anything to anybody is you have to be really honest with yourself about what it is that you're experiencing. A lot of times when you are in these scenarios, we justify, we make excuses. think, you know, if I was just, if I didn't make them mad, then they're not going to try to choke me out. And that sounds kind of nonchalant, but it's really like, this is the way my brain processed information is if I just
Sharon (23:56)
It's me, not them.
Gabi (24:09)
If I just don't do anything and make him mad, then I'm going to be have a safe day. But you end up walking on eggshells. so I think, Oh, it's a miserable way. Your nervous system is hijacked from sunup to sundown. is miserable. And so I think first step is absolutely being honest with yourself about what it is you're experiencing. And two is finding somebody that you trust enough to share that can help you make a plan to get out because nobody can save you if you don't want to be saved. And that is something that I had to know.
Sharon (24:15)
It's no way
Gabi (24:38)
is if you've got a girlfriend that's going through something, you can love them, but they have to want to leave. You can't put yourself in harm's way to save them, to watch them go right back, because they have to make that decision. And I think once you make that decision, all the work that comes later is the part that helps you rebuild who you are and shed and leave behind what you had to become and survive.
Sharon (25:04)
Thank you for
words. You know, I heard you say in a podcast that too often we use our story as an excuse not to, instead of using it to push ourselves in the direction of our dreams. And I love that. So how can we all begin to push ourselves in that positive direction?
Gabi (25:22)
I think I literally had this conversation at a coffee meeting this morning is I really genuinely believe we have to start our day with an intentionality that is rooted in gratitude.
I think all of us can get kind of sucked into all of the noise, whether it's family, friends, loved ones, social media, TV, news, all of the things. We constantly have things coming at us all the time. I'm a big fan of
starting my morning with gratitude. doesn't have to be 20 minutes of your day. It could just be open your eyes and give yourself 30 to 60 seconds to, know, I'm grateful I woke up this morning because there's plenty of people that didn't this morning. And really being intentional about one, where you spend your time and two, how you start your day because as somebody who's very intuitive, if I get on social media first thing in the morning before I have grounded myself in gratitude, inevitably it is something that will make me cry. And then the rest of the day I'm paying ketchup.
to get myself back together mentally and emotionally. And so I think that's really intentionally important.
Sharon (26:22)
Thank you for that. words.
All right. So Gabi, unfortunately our time is drawing to a close and I have a question that I ask all of the amazing women that I have the opportunity to interview. So that is, since this is the Mom to More podcast, Gabi Garland, what is your more?
Gabi (26:40)
My more is legacy. think whether it's Resilient Heart Agency, which is all the healing pieces, us becoming our best selves is legacy. Resilient Voice Media is capturing our story so that for generations to come, our loved ones and our grandkids and our great, great, great grandkids can know us and hear our stories and learn from our lessons and from our lives. And I think when you think about The Mom to More is taking
the time to be intentional about what you leave behind because we get so busy in the doing we forget when we leave, what are we leaving when we go? And I think it's important to think about that. What kind of impact, what kind of message, what kind of love, what kind of ⁓ things we do. yeah, for me, that's where my mind goes.
Sharon (27:30)
I think that's beautiful. Thank you for that. Gabi, please tell our listeners where everyone can find you online and folks, everything is going to be in the show notes.
Gabi (27:39)
Yeah, so I'm Gabi Garland, G-A-B-I, Garland, like Christmas Garland on every platform. I'm really active on social media in terms of DMs. It's funny because my team has to sign NDAs to work with me because women tell me all of their personal business and my social media emails and DMs. And so I'm very much in support of women in general. And I think too often when we don't have those really positive reinforcing
cheerleading environments, we don't ever really get to where we're at because we're hiding from the world what we want to do and what we want to step into. And so if someone's listening and that's something that they're experiencing where they're like, I have these crazy, big insane dreams, I don't have anybody I can tell them to, I am the best hype girl. So if you need that, you are more than welcome to message me because I had some people that were really instrumental for me in that. so getting to give that back in love of others is important to me too.
Sharon (28:36)
and then your website.
Gabi (28:38)
and website, just resilientvoicemedia.com.
Sharon (28:41)
Fantastic. Yeah, Gabi. I am so grateful for your time today. I'm so grateful we met at mom to your story is strong and resilient. I see why you have the word resilient so prominent in everything that you do. So thank you for your time and your wisdom and your mom insights today. I appreciate
Gabi (29:00)
Thank you so much for having me. This was fun.
